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The value of being lost



When I meet with people, we often work on the theme of being lost. On getting from an old place to a new one. A crisis of some sort.  


Unfortunately, our modern society has forgotten the great value of the transitional phase and space of being and getting lost. Instead, there is a great instance on finding answers. To know—doing anything to avoid the great unknowing. 


However, the moment we allow ourselves to be lost, we not only have the possibility to find something, but we hold the great opportunity to re-find ourselves again. Actually, the deepest form of (self) discovery requires us to be lost. 


So maybe you read this while feeling lost in a career or in a relationship. Or maybe you are in a personal crisis, having lost your way in the middle of your life. Or maybe something in your life is about to end, and yet you don’t know where you are going, you don’t know which road to take. Or perhaps you have an inkling of feeling, a vague desire for another, a better place, but you don’t know what that exactly is. Or maybe you DO have goals or a longing but you don’t know how to get to that place. 


If this is the case, I just would like to share these words with you: although it may not seem like it, know that a sacred moment has presented itself. And although the people around you will tell you that you have to find answers, that you have to know what you want, advise you to pick a destination, actually the most evolutionary act you can make is to trust this place of not knowing. Surrender to the fact that you are lost. Give in to that uncomfortable feeling. Steep yourself in the question instead of looking for an answer. 


Because only then you hold the possibility to shift from being lost to being completely present. And only when you are completely present can you connect to the deeper layers inside yourself. Only then you can listen to your heart. Rediscover why you are doing what you are doing. Only when you stand still life you can hear life whispering. 


So your feeling of being lost first requires you to accept that you don’t know how to get to the place you want to be, and secondly, fully opening to the place you are right now: lost, without plan, no answers. 


And if you accept this, when you open to the great unknowing, you are no longer lost. Then you are simply in that fertile space in between. A death before being reborn. The seed ready to crack open before finding its way up again. 


So the only thing to do is to let your old wishes, your old goals, and your old destinations fall away. Let it go until more soul aligned goals and desires arise. And in the meantime, don’t despair but be present. Don’t push but listen. Don’t force but stay with the question. Only free from tension you will arrive at the source. This is the fertile darkness, the beginning of all new creation and understanding.

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